Mother of the Year Part II

If could peek into the contents of this discarded bag, you would find various pieces for a breast pump.

Yep.

Better Shave Her A Little Closer Before You Kiss Her Goodnight

I looked around my yard for an empty bottle of shaving cream but didn't find it.

If you see someone hanging around West Salt Lake with a severely razor-burned face/legs, we may have solved the mystery of the garbage bandits.  Call the authorities immediately. 

Pret-a-Porter

Who needs to make a quick costume change in the middle of a neighborhood? A spy or a fugitive? Maybe a dedicated performing artist? Whatever the case may be, it's good to know my front yard can double as a dressing room.

Why does this exist?

I've considered putting a sign on the recycle container that says "Please place your obsolete book full of phone numbers here".

This will blow your mind...

A garbage bag with no garbage in it? Is that garbage?.. Just let that little existential bomb sink in for a moment.

By the way, thanks for the flowers folks... definitely not garbage.